


Comfort And Confessions

by The_Banana_Power



Series: tyrus week 2018: Hold Me Till You're Gone And Then Come Back To Me [2]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Friendship, M/M, Tyrus Week 2018 (Andi Mack), cyrus is going to high school, let them curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Banana_Power/pseuds/The_Banana_Power
Summary: tyrus week, day two: confessions





	Comfort And Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey

Tj was shaking on his way to the swings that Monday afternoon. He was going to travel to out of the country for a two-month vacation at his aunt Sheyla's house in Scotland and was debating with himself if he should come out to Cyrus during a near future (possibly), which lead him to the swings, the best option to lay out some stress without all the sweat of the basketball hoop behind his house.

  
While making his way to the park, Tj remembered all the times he had come out that year.

  
\--  
01

  
After his last game of basketball playing for Jefferson middle, Tj and his parents went home for a rare homemade dinner, an event kept only for special occasions where tj and his parents would cook together some meal and chat for the whole time. Tj thought that was maybe the best moment he would get any time soon to come out to his parents, so right after they finished layering the lasagna and shoved it up on the oven, he started talking.

  
“Mom, dad” he stole their attention from their wine bottle, both looked attentively to their nervous son. “I… I have something I need to tell you” Tj stuttered but still looked them in the eyes.

  
“What is it Ty?” his mom asked with her soft voice, her simple clothes still a little wrinkled from dressing too quickly after her hospital shift so she could be at her son’s game on time, her soft blond hair, a tone lighter than Tj’s own, fell at her shoulders with light curls and her green eyes that contrasted beautifully with her faintly tanned skin were full of worry.

  
The basketball player looked at his father, an older version of himself, only with red hair and a full beard, his paler face exhibited the same concern his wife, 'they love me enough to be worried 'Tj said to himself internally 'I can do it.'

  
Taking a deep gulp of air, he looked at his parent's eyes and left forgotten his prepared speech to a short and simple sentence “I'm pansexual” he said as he closed his eyes, not ready to recognize the rejection on his parent's faces.

  
“Ty,” his father’s voice called him after a couple of seconds, he opened his eyes to see their faces full of confusion and another expression he could not exactly pinpoint confused “as much as I would like to say I fully support you” Tj’s heart beat so loud he almost didn’t listen to the end of his father’s sentence “but I think neither me nor your mom could say that without lying to you, since we both don’t have idea of what does that term means” he finished with an understanding expression, almost as he was hurting for not being able to fully support his child in this particular moment as much as he did on every other aspect of his life (including the discovery of his dyscalculia).

  
His mom seemed to feel the same, as she took hold of Tj’s hand placed over the table, thumb softly massaging the back of it to assure her son that they meant no harm to him at any moment, only looking to comprehend what he was telling them. 'Fuck' he thought again, exhaling the air stuck in his lungs for the last minute or so ' I'm so lucky to have them supporting and trying to understand me'. He then remembered Daniel’s words about his family’s views on sexuality and got a little sad for the boy.

  
“I am pansexual,” he started, oh so much calmer now that his parents weren't going to get mad at him for being himself “ and being pansexual means I’m attracted to a person, no matter their gender identity.” His parents still seemed confused at that explanation “ This means that I can love either a boy, a girl, a person that is both or a person that is neither of those things” his parents looked less confused now, but his mom started crying and got up from her seat to hug Tj. His dad also hugged him, making all of them part of a family hug completed with sobs and wet tears from all three of the Kippens.

  
Suddenly a loud ping came from the stove, the warning that their dinner was ready, they were quick to separate from the hug and settle the table for the meal, their usual rhythm coming back as his mom cracked jokes and his father told them about his latest project on the firm he worked.

  
“So you guys are not mad at me?” Tj asked after a few minutes of eating his second portion of lasagna (his parents were indeed really good cooks), mouth still full of the delicious treat. His parents looked at him as if he had grown another head on his arm all of the sudden.

  
“Why would we be mad at you, Ty?” his mom asked, taking a sip of her glass of wine to wash down the food she just swallowed.

  
“You know because I’m not straight?” he said a little lower “There’s this kid at school, he’s gay, and his parents didn’t fully accept it…”

  
“Oh baby, I so deeply sorry for your friend, but we want you to know we fully support you, even though we may need a few days to search more about the LGBT community.” His mom answered him.

  
“And we’re actually kind of ashamed, we didn’t know we were raising you in such a way you felt uncertain of our reaction to this subject, and if you ever felt pressured to be something you are not, we are profoundly sorry for it.”

  
“And I'm sorry for you to even consider this wrong, how could I feel anything other than pride for my Baby Boy being able to love someone without restrictions?”

  
Tj smiled despite the squeezing feeling at his chest, he was so relieved he had understanding parents that loved and encouraged him that much

  
\--  
02

  
Tj never really came out during his first year of high school. He didn’t announce it publically with a megaphone, at the sound of 'I Want to Break Free' from Queen, and a rainbow parade complete with pink glitter in the middle of the cafeteria. It actually when pretty anticlimatic to be honest.

  
He had just entered (after much work and dedication) the basketball team. He also was the only freshman to play court, so, as per usual on this situations, he got to be a little bit of a celebrity among his peers, being given high fives from random people at the halls, invited to parties at houses he didn't know the owner and girls asked him out almost every week.

  
So it wasn’t a surprise when his older teammates came near him at his locker during his interval between biology and history (both his favorite subjects, since he couldn’t choose between them both) and took a view of the inside of that said locker, where Tj had put up a small Panic! At The Disco poster (he got really into it since that day), sided by his class schedule, a note from Cyrus wishing him good luck on his high school journey and a small pansexual flag with the words ‘love is love’ written on it.

  
“YO KIPPENSTER!” called his team captain. Carlos came accompanied by two other players- Alex and Leo – and the three seniors stopped behind him, someone's hands were on his shoulder in a sort of rough massage as Tj replaced his books for the next period.

  
“My man, why is there a random flag with that girly shit written in it?” asked Leo in a friendly mockery. Tj didn’t even look at them as he responded with half a mind

  
“That’s the pansexual flag. As in attracted to any gender or biological sex, as in my flag” and realizing what he just blurted out without a care in the world he dreaded himself for if those were panphobic shitheads he, without a doubt, might as well be throwing out all his hard work  and dedication in the nearest trash can available.

  
“Oh, okay.” He heard his mates answer and the following “We don’t really give a fuck to who you fuck as long as you keep playing like you did yesterday. And talking about fucking, you going to Talisa's party this weekend? You have to get laid man!”

  
\--

  
And that was that. Up until now he had come out without any problematic consequences, his parents had gotten more involved with LGBTQIA rights and his teammates only tried to join him with their friends and random people until they caught him smiling dumbly to his phone after a long practice and none other but forced him to confess his crush on Cyrus and proceded to tease him lightly every time Cyrus went to watch a game at high school.

  
However, none of that mattered in sight of telling Cyrus about his crush on him.

  
Tj was really close to the swings the moment he identified the hunched up form of his friend (and object of his affection), Cyrus Goodman.

  
“Hey, Underdog!” he called as he got closer to the set of swings he knew all too well by now.

  
“Oh hey Tj!” the smaller boy greeted him with a visible lack of enthusiasm.

  
“What you swinging for?” he asked the now common question between them.

  
“You are probably gonna think I'm stupid for it,” the Jewish boy said looking down at his black sneakers.

  
“After all this time you still think the worst of me, Underdog?” Tj joked as a way of telling the boy he was safe “is that what you take from our relationship till now?” he said and cursed at himself internally, his mouth needed a better filter or else he would just keep coming out to people without the intention to do so and one day he would get himself in a bad situation, just as this one, he thought.

  
Cyrus, however, didn’t seem phased by the sentence, more worried about his actual problem than overanalyzing his friends choice of words. He sighed and seemed to accept his fate as to tell Tj his problems, the basketball player sat beside the boy on the other swing.

  
“Take your time” he tried to lift a little bit of the obvious pressure on the other boy's shoulders. Cyrus seemed to take the advice to heart as they sat there in a pregnant silence for almost five minutes.

  
“I'm afraid of going to high school” he blurted just as Tj thought this subject would just be classified as more of their ‘stuff’ and never spoken about again. Tj face frowned in confusion.

  
“What are you talking about,” he said with light a voice “we’re going to study at the same school again,” he could not control his smile nor the butterflies on his stomach at the mere thought of being able to see Cyrus every day at school again “what is there to be afraid? You’ll miss Slayer too much?” he joked

  
Cyrus seemed torn between happiness at the prospect of studying with Tj again and almost desperate by whatever else he was feeling.

  
“Tj, I'm not afraid of going to a different school from Buffy, I mean, I’ll still have Andi and we’re still gonna go out together…” he affirmed with confidence “I'm afraid because _I_ _am_ different” at Tj’s utter confusion he forced himself to say the words that still sounded too heavy at his own tongue “Tj, I’m gay”

  
Tj’s heart sank to his stomach, beating faster than ever before and not beating at all, all at the same time because of what those words implied. He had a chance, and slight as it was, it was still bigger and better than what he had imagined.

  
“Underdog, I can assure you no one gives a shit about your sexuality in high school,” he said, and then realizing how he had sounded he tried to fix his words “I mean, people won't treat you differently just for that, I won't treat you any different” Cyrus seemed relieved, but then his anxiety came back with more doubts at his head.

  
“How can you be so sure?” he inquired from the older boy “ How can you affirm to me that I won't be made fun of or beaten or anything like that?” he grew even more anxious with every word, as well as did Tj, but for completely different reasons.

  
“I can be one hundred percent honest with you because” his throat felt drier than sandpaper, his hands more sweaty than a fat kid on the line to their last McDonald’s burger ever. It felt like he was Lucifer going to confess his sins to God himself (mental note, don’t read paradise lost after ten pm, or else you’ll end up making more religious comparisons). “I can tell that because I'm not quite straight and I haven't suffered any major bullying during this whole year”

  
Cyrus stared at him with a blank face, now completely calm all of a sudden “So let me get this right,” he started with a monotone tone to his voice “you are gay”

  
“Pansexual actually” the blonde boy interrupted.

  
“So you’re pansexual” Cyrus's voice acquired a heavier, more full of anger tone at every word “and you’ve been out to strangers for a whole year” he was now nearly shouting but contained himself “but to me, ‘one of your best friends’” he made quotes on air “you chose not to say a word?”

  
“Yes?” Tj said nor sure if he was supposed to be feeling bad or angry about what Cyrus was telling him. But then, before he could weight his options fully, Cyrus made something I've never seen before coming from the boy.

  
“Fuck!” Cyrus cursed, leaving Tj astonished “Oh my god, Tj, I’m such a shitty friend, ugh, I made you somehow feel like you couldn’t come to me and talk about it unintentionally, haven't I?” he started to beat himself up, that made the taller boy’s heart feel tight on his chest.

  
“No, Underdog, it's not like that.” He calmed the boy, holding his hands to stop him on his over the top sequence of gestures, 'it’s now or never. C’mon man, you can do it. Tell him how you feel!' “I didn’t say anything before because, because I…” that moment, Cyrus phone started to ring.

  
Looking apologetically to Tj, Cyrus got up from the swing set and answered the call. Tj only waited, knowing fully well that Cyrus’ parents only called him on emergencies, preferring not to disturb their son during the day if not for something important.

  
Minutes later the brown-haired boy was back in front of Tj, biding his goodbyes and walking home, Tj and his reasons forgotten in midst of whatever his parents told him that left him in a near catatonic state. Tj watched him run home as his own cellphone rang in his sweats’ pockets, most probably his mom calling him home so they could travel.

  
\--

  
Cyrus arrived home where his two pairs of parents waited for him, having already come out to them not long ago made him feel lighter around them and allowed him to act more instinctively by their side.

  
He couldn’t believe when his dad told him on the phone, still processing the news ‘you’re gonna be a big brother’. But in his living room, he found his mom and stepmom both talking and touching their bellies in a protective way.

  
He was never happier than that afternoon, receiving the news of two babies on their way, commemorating until late with his family, he only remembered to tell his friends after he got up to his bedroom, too tired to keep partying on the first floor.

  
He sent a text to Buffy and Andi marking to see them the next day to share the news and was ready to send Tj the same text when he saw he had a voicemail from a said basketball player. Curious, he played it in the silence of his own room.

  
“Hey, Underdog,” Tj’s voice sounded clear through the speaker “it’s me, obviously. I hope everything is okay with your parents” Cyrus smiled at the kind gesture “I'm calling to give you a heads up that I'm leaving the country for two months since I’m gonna visit my aunt in Scotland…” he felt his heart sink a little, his best friend was going to leave for two whole months. suddenly the dark room seemed even more lonely.

  
“about earlier, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was such a coward and didn’t tell you before, I'm so, so sorry.” He felt bad for Tj, the blond’s voice sounded strangled from emotion “I guess I thought you would see me in a different way if I’ve told you, or maybe you would realize how obvious I am” Tj let out a sad chuckle and Cyrus got even more confused at that exclamation.

  
“ you know, I wanted to do it face to face, but I guess this way you can have time to think about it better without me around, you can decide how to act when I come back, if you want to keep things as they are…” there was a loud sigh from Tj. Cyrus could hear the sound of running water in the background now, as well as some voices “so this is my admission of guilt. Fuck, am I really doing this at an airport’s bathroom? I'm so fucked up…” he almost laughed if not for the serious subject of the (one-sided) conversation.

  
“This is me confessing my crush on you. A crush that has lasted for over a year now and just grew stronger, even though I tried to find other people to like, or trying to find reasons to not like you as more than a friend.” All air from Cyrus' lungs was knocked out at the impact of that confession. ' _Tj_ has a crush on _me_ ' he thought to himself, unable to do any other thing than just stare blankly at his phone, the only current source of light in his dark bedroom.

  
“As I said before, from now on the choice is yours, you chose if we should not be friends anymore... or be just friends... or.... if you want to try and be... more than that, cause I will follow whatever path you chose, no contestations. I'm not gonna contact you during these months to give you the time to sort things out within yourself. I'm sorry for the sudden bomb I just threw on you…Just,” his voice sounded painful and closer than ever to tearing up “I'm gonna miss you during these two months… goodbye Cyrus”


End file.
